Funny stories in under 500 words.

Garden Gossip

Good Morning, Glory.

Hi, vivacious Violet.

Did you hear Mary has a gold ring on her wedding finger?

Is it from that Sweet William?

He’s wearing a Bachelor’s Button.

I believe so. What do you think her Poppy will say?

We’ll have to ast ‘er.

How about Chris Ann’ the Mum?

Does Fern know?

Yes, she says Blue Bells will ring oe’r the Lilies in the Valley.

Jack in the Pulpit will perform the ceremony.

Then, their Tulips will kiss.

Have you heard about that Gypsy Ophilis?

Why, yes, and her Texas Blue Bonnet.

She was covered with a Blanket Flower when she saw a Shooting Star.

She used some Scarlet Sage to tame a Snap Dragon.

You should have seen Johnny Jump Up.

He ran off using his Stiff Golden Rod.

That boy is Impatiens, for sure.

That, I’ll Forget Me Not.

He’s such a Pansy.

Did you hear that Holly-Hocked her Dutchman’s Breeches?

She’d cleaned off her Money Tree by Four O’clock.

Have you smelled her Baby’s Breath?

She’s been feeding Daisy Mae some Milkweed made with Carnation Instant Breakfast.

She’s a Peon’y, just ask Rose.

And a Narcissus.

She’d make a Dandy Lion. Have you seen the Iris in her Baby Blue Eyes?

She’s not a Black-eyed Susan.

Have you Spied Her Plant?

It’s a Monkey Flower.

St. John has a Wart.

In the light of a Blazing Star, I saw his Bird’s Foot and Bird’s Eyes.

And I saw him use an Indian Paint Brush to color a Mexican Hat.

Yes, and he sat right by his Fire Weed to knit his Fox Gloves.

It takes all kinds doesn’t it?

Sure does. I gotta go. Don’t be a Touch Me Not.

This story was written by Debbie Johnson, who lives in Nevada, Iowa with a very special beagle. She was disabled in a car/semi accident in 2004. She writes as fun, therapy, and to advocate for the disabled. She enjoys writing poetry, especially the Japanese forms, as well as some fiction and non-fiction. She has been published in numerous literary journals and anthologies. She has written three books, ‘The Disability Experience’ and ‘The Disability Experience II’ and ‘Debbie’s Friends’. Her website, blog, and guest blog can be found at


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