Funny stories in under 500 words.


"And this, with the right incantation," the goblin held up an ornate candelabra, "will transport you to another dimension."

Eric and Will looked at each other. "Only one?" asked Eric.

"What do you mean?" replied the goblin.

"We have three dimensions here, four if you count time. If we transported to a just single dimension somewhere, we would die instantly."

"Well, how about this?" Waving his hand over a slab of polished oak inscribed with several strange symbols, the goblin explained, "It allows you to communicate with the other side."

Eric sought clarification. "The other side of what?"

The goblin explained, "You will be able to contact the denizens of the Great Beyo-"

"It's not even in English," Will interrupted, "Does Google Translate support it?"

The goblin stopped, and took a deep breath. "Okay. This," he pulled a crystal from a red velvet sack, "was crafted by the dark lord himself. It is a source of great power. It..."

Eric's turn. "It doesn't even have a USB port. How am I supposed to charge anything with that? Look, my Mom is going to be here soon to pick us up. Can we just get what we came for?"

A few minutes later Eric and Will were walking out of the store, Eric holding a new adapter for his phone. "You know," said Will, "I still like RadioShack a lot more now that it's merged with Sprint."

This story was written by Todd Wells, father of three and husband of one. Todd Wells runs marathons, hosts international visitors through US Department of State exchange programs, and enjoys standing in line for airport security at Midway and O'Hare. He writes about all of those things at His previous pieces have shown up on, and right here ("Three Wishes"). 


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