Funny stories in under 500 words.

Professional Sales



There were no cell phones in the 1970s, but there was something called voice pagers. Spencer being the professional sales person that he believed himself to be was one of the first to obtain this specialized communication system. Also during the 70s Spencer’s parents who live in another state would visit once or twice a year but instead of staying with him or his older sister they would rent a room at the Holiday Inn Coliseum.

Spencer had been fortunate to set up an appointment with Conley Chevrolet, one of the largest automobile dealers in the state. The appointment was to demonstrate the Novus system, a method by which to repair Dings and cracks in windshields. This brand-new technology would allow automobile dealers to fix broken windshields rather than replacing them.

While Spencer had begun to demonstrate this amazing new product, his sister was headed to the airport to make sure their parents were picked up on time and safely settled in at the motel.
The appointed time had begun, and Spencer found himself standing in front of Mr. Conley, the owner, and fifteen of his employees. They had provided an automobile with a cracked windshield for Spencer to use in his demonstration. Spencer began telling the Novus story while placing his tripod over the damaged area. Things seem to be sailing right along and looking good for Spencer. He was answering their questions quickly, and his performance was without glitches. Boy, am I a real pro he thought to himself.

And then his voice pager went off as the message heard loud and clear, by all encircled around him and spoken in a very sexy female voice. “Hi Spence, I’m at the Holiday Inn Coliseum, room 212, come on by as soon as you can, I can’t wait to see you again, okay sweetie – – – bye.”

At that point, Spencer lost total perspective for what he was doing. He became uncomfortable, hot around his collar, and began to turn a nice toasty shade of red. Spencer looked up to see the smirks on everyone’s face. Then he proceeded to compound the situation by saying to the group,” That was my sister.”

They all grinned, nodding their heads up and down while saying almost in unison, “Sure that was your sister.” After his stumble, the demonstration began to fail as the windshield problem became worse than when he had started. Spencer was told shortly after to check back with them when he felt more comfortable with the process. Now humbled, Spencer packed up his demonstration equipment and thought to himself, "ain’t big sisters great.”

Jim Freeze is seventy years old and retired. He has been happily married for fifty-two years and has two grown sons. He began writing in early 2012 to have something to do. His short stories have been featured in several publications including-----( Brilliant Flash Fiction, Calliope Magazine, and The Original Writer.)




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