Funny stories in under 500 words.

Four



Hank, or more commonly known by his nickname Four, had been having a difficult year. His wife had left him for someone younger, he’d been fired from his job, and he was living with his oligodactyly diagnosis. Well, actually, that last one had always been true. You see, Hank had the unfortunate luck to have been born without any thumbs. Hence, the nickname.

Thumbs - or more specifically, his lack thereof - had been a constant theme in his life. He’d been made fun of ever since he could remember. Even his ex-wife used to force him to wear gloves whenever they went out to nice places. He’d always felt cursed, constantly blaming his abnormal hands for everything that went wrong in his life.

Looking back, Four had to marvel at the irony of the event. It was as if God himself had planned the entire thing, just for a laugh. But to fully appreciate it, we have to go back to that day. The day that won Four a $10,000 lawsuit . . .

Four poured himself another mug of coffee. He had a job interview at noon and had spent all morning stressing about it. His nerves were on edge as he read through his notes for the millionth time. If this interview went well it could change things for him. Having a purpose again, a reason to put pants on every morning, was something he desperately needed. With his confidence so low he’d barely left the house in weeks. His personal hygiene had really been taking a hit. But here he was; showered, freshly shaved, and dressed in his best suit.

As Four grabbed his keys and coat he noticed the red numbers on the clock displaying 11:11. Make a wish. As a reflex, his mind went straight to thumbs. Glancing down at his hands he decided to focus on something a little more realistic - nailing this job interview. With that optimistic thought in his head he headed out the door.

-----

Four stopped to buy a soft pretzel and soda on his walk home from the interview. Chewing slowly, he thought about how horribly the meeting had gone. The man was definitely not going to hire him after that. He blushed to himself, remembering his awkward attempt to avoid a handshake. What was I thinking? A fist bump!

Four wiped some crumbs off his tie, throwing the rest of the pretzel into the trash. He rolled his eyes as he walked past the nail salon on his block. Seeing all the perfectly manicured people inside always annoyed him. Cracking open the tab of his Coke, he lifted it to take a big gulp. Four paused, furrowing his brow. He peered into the can before laughing aloud to himself, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” And there it was, floating at the top of his drink: a thumb.

This story was written by M.B. Claire, who is a self-proclaimed amateur writer, aspiring novelist, and screenwriter for TV shows.




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