Funny stories in under 500 words.

Giving Back



Prim and proper Emmalee gripped the kitchen counter as Gerald-Dean kissed the back of her neck, breathing in Red Door perfume, a gift from her new husband, Lucas—a man with big money but little taste.

When Emmalee and Lucas combined forces, she refused to sell her assets. She rented her small guest house to Gerald-Dean, who kept an eye on her property.

Before she and Gerald-Dean became side lovers, they were confidantes. He escorted her lying first husband off the premises. Emmalee despised her ex but felt nothing but severe indifference for her current spouse who bored her to fuck. She’d always been the good country daughter, wife, and mother. And when everyone else turned Gerald-Dean away because of his brief incarceration, Emmalee provided him a place to rest his head, while he provided her with pleasure—the secret kind that drove her and her favorite Jackie Collins’ characters to pure, unadulterated knowledge. Her husbands pretended to be good Christian men, but Gerald-Dean wore no such facade.

“Emmalee, Darling, I’ve been thinking about the Smiths down the road—how they complain about my dogs running free, and I say let’s show them sons-a-bitches what we’re made of!” “How we gonna do that?” Emmalee felt like wiggling her bottom, electric from Gerald-Dean’s touch.

“We gonna pull down our britches and yell, ‘Kiss our asses,’” he said as he unbuttoned Emmalee’s tight Liz Claiborne jeans.

She let out a sexy laugh and reached backward, grabbing a handful of Gerald-Dean’s graying hair. “Hush talking that way, Gerald-Dean.” But she really wanted him to say more. She liked his free use of language just like she liked to sip his homemade Tennessee moonshine.

Sundays after church, Emmalee left Lucas to check her belongings. He had no idea that Gerald-Dean was checking her insides as she leaned forward glistening like fresh-frying pork in a sliver of sunlight coming through the window. Gerald-Dean gave it to her. And in a way, she’d given back to her husbands like she’d never given before.

This short story was written by Deana Nantz. Her book of poetry, Fits of Wrath and Irony, published by Finishing Line Press is available on Amazon. She writes poetry and fiction, has appeared in Southern Women’s Review, Fiddleblack, Fried Chicken and Coffee and other literary journals. “Blanched” received finalist for Editor’s Prize in Fiction Southeast.




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