Funny stories in under 500 words.

Cinco De Mayo Party



Elle was a beautiful, buxom, blonde haired, blue-eyed salad bar attendant. Together, we had attended school in addition to being co-workers at the Souplantation. We spent many an afternoon together, she knitting and me painting terracotta pots for the many plants we would place on the patio of she and her mother’s apartment. Elle’s mom was an officer in the Navy, strong and silent, but somehow even quieter and slighter than her daughter. The night we found out Elle’s mother had cancer, we both cried.

After the cancer diagnosis, Elle withdrew from a lot of social activities, which is probably why we had so much time for our arts and crafts out on her porch. Once, she invited me to a Cinco de Mayo party after work. Tyler, an attractive Pilipino cashier, had invited her. She told me that he practically begged her to come. I agreed to tag along, though I thought Tyler may have preferred she come alone.

Upon arrival at the party, a cute Korean man and his equally cute equally Korean girlfriend met us at the door. She was clinging to his side and practically dangling from him like her long locks dangled from her head. The couple could have been a Crest commercial, their smiles were so big and bright. “You must be Tyler’s friends,” the young man stated confidently. How did he know that? I wondered. Not knowing how to respond, I looked to Elle.

“Yes,” she said.

“Don’t forget to take off your shoes,” the host’s girlfriend giggled. In one fluid motion, she slid from his side, guiding him by the hand from the front door back to the guests.

We added our shoes to the mound of over 50 pair near the door, then headed to the packed living room. Pop music played loudly on the cutting-edge stereo system. I looked around the room. There were Buddha statues and paintings of cherry blossoms. Aside from the many bodies standing and piled on top of the couches, the room was spotless. Virtually empty, clean surfaces and freshly vacuumed white carpets. There were people everywhere: some Chinese, some Laotian, some Japanese, some Samoan, some Vietnamese, some Cambodian, but all Asian or Pacific Islander. That’s how the host knew we were Tyler’s friends. We were the only two white people.

“Do you have any Tequila?” I asked.

“We have Jell-O shots,” the host offered, “They have vodka in them.”

Of course. A Cinco de Mayo party with no one of Mexican descent. Not even a Mexican liquor. Only in America.

This story was written by CLS Ferguson. She has a PhD, speaks, signs, acts, publishes, sings, performs, writes, paints, teaches and rarely relaxes. She and her husband, Rich Ferguson, are raising their Bernese Mountain Boarder Collie mutt, Sadie, in Hollywood, CA. You can visit her website here: http://clsferguson.wix.com/clsferguson




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