Funny stories in under 500 words.

Memory Trouble

Graham and Lil' John travel through time, share some laughs, and might just confuse the hell out of you. This story comes from Severely Odd. His work is available on Amazon and via Smashwords.
Time travel can solve many problems, especially if you don’t mind the odd paradox, by the simple process of going back in time and doing whatever is needed- provided that you can actually remember what to do. It was such a problem that was affecting the owners of ‘Lil’ John’s Time Travel Emporium’ as Graham pulled up outside it.

"Here today, gone tomorrow" read the sign above the shop, and it was a beaut, Graham thought as he stepped out of his limousine. Cary didn’t think so, but quite frankly Cary could go stick her head in the oven. He’d seen her do it too, before he’d gone back in time and shot the hypnotist. Perhaps he should have just cancelled the appointment, he mused, shrugging his shoulders as he stepped inside.

Lil’ John appeared at the counter, and Graham smiled.

"I see you got the teleporter working again," he said casually. "It’s a shame really, because it’s going to break in a few minutes."

"How do you know?" Lil’ John asked in a high-pitched voice that he’d once stolen of a thirteenth-century child as a joke, before discovering the voice-transfer kit was a single-use version.

"I remember, of course," Graham replied scornfully. "That’s your problem, John, you don’t think of the obvious." Lil’ John frowned

"That’s not my only problem," he said sulkily; "I haven’t had a customer in centuries. Traveling time, not waiting time,’ he added hurriedly, lest his brother-in-law think him totally incompetent. ‘And it ain’t good for the bank-balance."

Graham sighed.

"I told you, just go back and bet." He looked around. "Now, where’s Cary got to? I need to tell her something."

"What to do."

Graham looked sharply at his brother-in-law.

"Are you trying to be funny?" he asked, voice threatening.

"No," Lil’ John replied. "I can’t even remember how to be. We had a little accident and wiped most of our memories."

"How?"

"Can’t remember."

Well that wasn’t going to be much help, Graham thought, and sighed.

"I’m going to have to travel to when you lost them then," he said, walking behind the counter and reaching for the button.

"I hate it." Lil’ John grumbled. "Time traveling ain’t natural." And then Graham had pressed the button and they were back to when they had lost their memories. Graham folded his arms to wait, and a tall, dark stranger came in.

"Hallo," the newcomer said; ‘I expect a gypsy women told you I’d be along.’

Graham shook his head, but Cary suddenly appeared from the recesses of the store and said, in a breathless gulp-

"Yes!"

"Good. My computer’s run out of memory. I’m here to get some more."

Cary smiled.

Five minutes later Graham stared at his sister and brother in law.

"So, what horrible mistake am I here to save you from?"

Lil’ John scratched his head.

"Can’t you remember?"

Graham looked at him with a sinking feeling.

"Oh damn," he said.




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