Funny stories in under 500 words.

Mac Attack

funny short story: mac attack

“TGIF. Am I right?”

T.J. smiled at the person seated next to him. He hated taking the commuter train, he usually got stuck next to the loud guy on a cell phone. There was the one time he sat across from a couple that argued the whole commute. Luckily, he didn't find himself going into the city often. For the last month he had pushed all of his meetings to today. One day, one commute and one excellent excuse to duck out of any meeting that was going too long.

“I love the city. Don’t you?”

T.J. nodded but was saved from responding since his fellow passenger was already talking again.

“I’m heading in for an interview.”

“Great. Good luck.” T.J. made a production of opening a magazine.

“Thanks, but I don’t need it.” He said with a smug look. “This company would be lucky to get someone like me. They’re chump change compared to what I should be doing.”

“Oh?” T.J. knew he should ignore him but couldn't help himself.

“Yeah, you see, my plan is to use this job offer to leverage a pay raise. If they wuss out, then I’ll take this job and bail when a better offer comes up.”

The guy shrugged and T.J. immediately thought of all of the frat boy types that he went through training with years ago. Every one of them thought like this guy, too good to put in some honest hours or really learn about the job. They just wanted a fancy car and more money. Of course, half of those guys lost everything when the internet bubble burst.

“So how do you prepare for an interview?”

“Oh, I don’t have to prepare, it’s scheduled with some chick. All I have to do is turn on the charm, the ladies always want a piece of the Mac.” He puffed up. “That’s how I got the job I have now. I came on strong with the babe in HR and then after I got hired I quoted their own dating policy to get her off my case.”

“Oh, right,” T.J. was saved from the rest of his philosophy when Mac’s phone rang.

The rest of the commute went by quickly and T.J. was only too glad when they reached the city.

Shortly after noon, T.J. picked up the phone and buzzed the administrative assistant, “Phyllis, please send in Mr. McKinley.”

The door opened, Phyllis stepped back and T.J. stood up to greet Mr. McKinley. T.J. saw him first and felt a moment of triumph as he caught the flicker of recognition across Mac’s face before it went white.

“Mac!” T.J. said enthusiastically, shaking his hand and clapping him on the shoulder. “Good to see you so soon.”

“You’re Tracy?” Mac asked.

“Yes. Tracy James Spencer, III. It’s a family name.”

“Are you ready?” T.J. sat down.

“I, uhm, not really,” Mac dropped into the chair across from him.

“This is going to be fun.”

Kimberly Relph Czerwonka is a freelance writer from Arizona, where she lives with her husband, teenage daughter and a menagerie of small animals. Her current work in progress is The Sunset Canyon Post, where she rambles about being a writer. In her free time (ha ha), she channels her creative energy into many projects that quite possibly will never be finished. Catch up on her progress here.

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